This is the phrase that sprung to mind when I was watching Twilight, the feature of last night’s Bad Movie Tuesday festivities. I’m not sure if the phrase came to me in relation to the characters, the writer, or the people who choose to watch the film multiple times, but there it was.
I honestly didn’t think it would be as bad as it was. I figured the plot would be ridiculous, but at least make some sort of sense if you could get past the idea of a cuddly vampire family who likes to play baseball and only eats animals and risks their lives to save a very uncharismatic human girl who apparently is the aromatic equivalent of a grilled sirloin.
But, oh, the inconsistencies. And, oh, the utter lack of chemistry between the two leads. And, oh, the borderline Tourette’s level twitching that is Kristen Stewart’s acting.
And, oh, the John Tesh-ian piano scene. Oh, oh, oh!
(An aside: We watched it with an overdub done by the dudes who used to voice Tom Servo and Crow on MST3K. It was as funny as the film was horrible.)
If anyone can explain to me what the big deal is about the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, I’d appreciate it.
While you’re at it, you can help me out with Animal Collective’s Merriweather Post Pavilion. I loved Strawberry Jam, but this one just sounds kind of monotonous, and, well … moist.
“Moist” does not constitute a positive description of anything except cake.
The mixes will be posted to all the usual suspects early next week. If you are not on the usual suspect list and would like to be, let me know. And then you will be. Just like magic! Poof!
- “This Love is Fucking Right,” The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
- “Osaka Loop Line,” Discovery
- “Young Hearts Spark Fire,” Japandroids
- “The Deadroads,” Rural Alberta Advantage
- “Two Weeks,” Grizzly Bear
- “The Strangers,” St. Vincent
- “Two Doves,” Dirty Projectors
- “Happy as Can Be,” Cut off Your Hands
- “Walkabout,” Atlas Sound
- “Island, IS,” Volcano Choir
- “Fake Blues,” Real Estate
- “Cello Song,” The Books and Jose Gonzales
- “Daniel,” Bat for Lashes
- “VCR,” The XX
- “Should Have Taken Acid with You,” Neon Indian
- “1901,” Phoenix
- “Snookered,” Dan Deacon
- “Home,” Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
Disclaimer: This is not a “best tracks” list, as some of what I would consider the best tracks of the year are not really the best mix tape tracks of the year. So I kept out the one about cancer and anything that sounded like it was influenced by Skinny Puppy. No offense to Skinny Puppy.
Watched Rumble Fish last night.
I can’t get over that this dude:
…used to be this dude:
Holy moley, he was totally hot.
My brain does not know how to compute this. It’s like the first time I saw A Streetcar Named Desire and realized Marlon Brando wasn’t always an obese mobster caricature.
That is all.
It’s been a while, kids.
I feel so bad about it I baked you a cake. An “obscene astronaut cake,” courtesy of NASA’s “Women in Space” celebration:
What Sally Ride was riding.
Wonderfully inappropriate image courtesy of Cake Wrecks.
Last night I dreamt I was covered in pets, and none of them made me sneeze.
It was a nice dream.