Yes, yes. Locker rooms are places where people are naked. But there are certain unwritten rules about locker room nudity which, based on some of my recent locker room funtimes, need to be written after all.
- When returning from the showers, “Putting my clothes on my clean, dry body” should always be first in the order of getting-dressed operations. Before putting on your perfume, before blow-drying your hair, before checking the missed messages on your cell phone.
- Do not converse with people you do not know while either of you is naked, except in the very unlikely case that, say, their hair is on fire or there is a cockroach crawling into their nether regions.
- For the sake of all that is hygienic and good, do not sit your bare ass on the locker room benches. I can think of no scenario when this would be necessary, and I refuse to believe that such a scenario exists.
That is all. For now. I hope.