bridges to nowhere

In anticipation of the 4 million or so people expected to flood DC on Inauguration Day, the Secret Service announced plans to close down the bridges connecting Virginia to the District.

And people are ticked off, I tell ya.

Some favorite quotes:

“The Secret Service’s plan to keep the inauguration secret is succeeding.”

“We are the capital of the free world. What is the message of closing all the bridges?”

“[It’s] all just an old Civil War snub. The Yankees are no quicker to forget the past than are any of the dyed-in-the-wool Rebels.”

As anyone who has ever so much as walked by one of these bridges during rush hour on a plain old work day could tell you, the joke of this is that any of these folks were actually planning to access DC by car that day in the first place. Good heavens.


7 responses to “bridges to nowhere

  1. So, the only way in is going to be Metro. Or, to put that another way, the only way for Virginians to get to DC will be the underground railroad.


    • Touche. Sell that one to Leno, but be prepared for the audience to make that “ooh” sound they make when they’re afraid to actually laugh.

      Despite the goofy (and irresistible!) quotes that the author chose for the piece, though, I think this a suburban mindset issue, not a southern one. The only folks who’d think it was a good idea to mosey into town that day in their car are people who think “transportation=personal vehicle”. I’m sure there would be just as many bellyachers if they shut down the thru-roads from Maryland to DC. And, though perhaps less likely to blame it on “Yankee-Rebel” feuds, they would be equally insane.

  2. The fact that anyone is even attempting to enter DC on Inauguration Day makes me break out into cold sweats. I imagine long metro lines and hours unable to find a conveniently located bathroom, and an inability to see the proceedings.

    This is all a rather moot point though, as I feel this way when I have to leave the house for class with a normal amount of people in the city.

    As you mentioned though, clearly those bridges are a nightmare normally; however, what will this do to the already overcrowded system that remains? I’m going to act as if I’m snowed in. You’re more than welcome to visit for a mug of liquor-enhanced hot cocoa.

  3. Aw.
    As nice as liquor-enhanced cocoa sounds (and it sounds quite nice), I am planning to brave the madness. Kat and George have tickets, though I’m not sure what exactly that entails. Hopefully a line cutting pass for the port-a-potty?

    At any rate, I couldn’t let myself not go. I feel like, if I went to the last one so I could freaking protest, I can go to this one to be part of something I’m actually happy about. Insanity be damned!

    As far as the extra people on public transport–
    Yeah. It’s going to be a freaking mess. I think of the mess the metro is after, say the Army 10 miler, when there are about 50,000 extra people flooding the stations. I can’t even comprehend how much more of a mess this is going to be. I will wage, though, that whatever level of clusterfuck the metro is operating at, anyone attempting to drive in is going to encounter something at least 5 times worse, maybe 8 when you factor in parking.

    Parking on Inauguration Day.
    Can you even imagine…?

  4. At least no one has told you they’re coming to stay at your place (note I say ‘told’ not ‘asked’) as I’ve heard this is the case amongst many who live in your area. Though I read about someone renting their place out for a few days for $1000. So, if you’d rather get the fuck out of Dodge and make some dough, come up here and stay with us.

  5. Jess, we’re coming to stay at your place.

  6. Hehe…
    Apparently I won’t be able to take you up on that offer, Aimee, as some guests have just told me they will be staying here.

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