happy pills

happy pills

So, a new study was recently published that revealed happy pills are the most widely prescribed medications in the United States.

More than blood pressure pills. More than headache pills. More than birth control pills.

Fucking happy pills.

Now, far be it from me to say that there is no one who serves to benefit from antidepressants. But 118 million prescriptions in 2005?

I’m gonna use my completely unscientific method of stomping three times with a rusty rake, turning in a circle, and holding a finger to the wind to reckon a couple of things. First, I’m gonna reckon that about a third of those folks really need those prescriptions, due to clinical depression that isn’t improving with therapy, repeated suicidal thoughts, etc. Next, I’m gonna reckon that there are so many damned antidepressant ads on TV–filled with animated butterflies and sunny skies and happy-looking soccer moms breathing in the fresh air and smiling antidepressed smiles–that another third of these folks are getting prescriptions simply because they ask for them. Lastly, as my rusty rake has about one more decree left in it today, I’m gonna reckon that the remaining third have lazy-ass doctors who are ruining their patients’ lives by giving them pills that are going to make them forget about the problems that they need to address.

Way too many fucking happy pills, people.

And, regardless of how many people really need them, you’ve got to wonder: What the hell are we doing wrong in the good ol’ U.S. of A. that we’ve got this many people medicating their happiness?


3 responses to “happy pills

  1. Yeah, you’ve gotta think that a lot of those people with prozac prescriptions have perfectly good reasons to be unhappy and medicating is just helping them avoid their problems.

  2. Oh snap! If it’s prescriptions you’re worried about, I can get you happy pills with no prescription at all.

  3. Again… I want the pill that’s going to let me walk on the beach with my dog.

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