“I’d like a little less romance in my romance novels, please.”

Yesterday, I saw this in a Harlequin romance novel display at Borders:

"Nothing makes me want to do it like a chalk outline."

I’m not sure if it was the juxtaposition of murder and blossoming romance, the intrinsic oddness of the phrase “love-inspired suspense,” or the inexplicable inclusion of an adorable kitty peeking out from behind the legs of one of our headless protagonists, but it kinda caught my attention.

Upon consulting the interwebs, I learned that On a Killer’s Trail is one of a series of Harlequin books dedicated to highlighting Christian romantic ideals through tales of gruesome crime. In this particular installment, an old lady’s murder leads our protagonists to the realization that it’s important to save sex for marriage.

I guess it makes sense, seeing as butchered old ladies are up there with images of festering snakebite wounds on the list of “Things That Really Don’t Make Me Want to Do It.”

cover letters

I’ve been writing a lot of them lately. It’s terribly tempting to insert testaments to skills inappropriate to legal workplaces, just to keep myself amused.

“By applying my experiences with editing, publishing, and researching, as well as my strong written and oral communication skills, I aim to continue helping individuals reach their full potential regardless of their economic and cultural backgrounds. I am also gregarious, compassionate, and a demon in the sack.”

Though, knowing me, I’d forget to edit them out.

Leaving madness no choice but to ensue.