Fuck you, Maine

See also: Happy Homophobe Day!

gone firenzin’

Ciao, bitches!

As most of you know, Ty and I are doing the ol’ hitcheroo on Saturday, followed by what ought to be a hot-damn, kick-ass vacation in Roma e Firenze.  So I’ll not be blogging for a bit.

Not that I’ve been blogging much lately, anyway. But now I’ll have an excuse.

So hugs to you all … and look forward to posts about foreign escapades in a couple weeks.

Is there no shame?

New from the neighborhood listserve:

Subject: [PEN] boys’ briefs up for grabs, size 2-3T

About a dozen and a half pairs. Lots of pirates, some dinos and
characters; some fading, no stains. First claimant gets the lot; if
unclaimed, they’ll go to TPPC bazaar.

Do I dare to eat a peach?

I’m 30 today, bitches. Yeehaw!

The shock, followed by the resignation.

I guess I’m supposed to say how it seems like only yesterday that I was a bright-eyed college student with my whole world-oyster ahead of me, but that would be a goodly bit of bullshit. A lot has happened since then–good, bad, and in the middle–and sometimes I barely recognize 21-year-old me. Other times I wonder if 30-year-old me would even like 21-year-old me.

Then I wonder if 30-year-old-me and 21-year-old me would get in a cat fight, and, if so, who would win.

(I think 30-year-old me would kick some ass. I work out these days, you know.)

Daily Dose of Angry

Instant Angry: Read this account of a recent town hall meeting on health care.

I mean, fuck.
Seriously?

Obama-as-Hitler posters? Someone yelling at the disabled lady whose insurance dropped her that “I shouldn’t have to pay for your health care”?

Are we really this ugly a nation?

places you shouldn’t be twittering

I’ll spare you the rest of the top 10 list and get right to number 1.

That would be the birthing room. Yes, people. The fucking birthing room.

If you don’t have time to read the whole article, here’s a highlight from childbirth tweeter Terra Carmichael:

“At the moment nothing went through my head. It was just like, ‘This is how I’m feeling and so this is going out there and if you don’t like it you don’t have to read it,’ ” she said. “Afterwards, I was like ‘I hope I wasn’t too gross or graphic.’”

If there is ever a moment during which “nothing is going through my head,” I promise not to share it with any of you. Cause it’s probably, well, not a good idea.

(See also. Ten bucks says Terra’s on there, too. Ten bucks!)

ways hippies torture their children

I got this notice yesterday for a new camp being offered in my town:

Can’t get your child to eat veggies?

Send them to The GREAT Vegetable Mystery, a week of cooking, singing, songwriting and art all about VEGETABLES! Whole food chef and holistic nutrition educator Monica Corrado and singer/songwriter and visual artist Rachel Cross are teaming up to lead this week-long summer camp for children ages 9 to 12, Monday-Friday, August 3-7 from 9a-1:30pm in Takoma Park/Silver Spring. This is not about hiding vegetables in their food; it’s about having children get to know fresh, local vegetables in the kitchen. While they learn how to soup, salad, puree, pickle, and bake, they will also discover the answers to the following questions:

• what color veggie is highest in Vitamin C?
• does it matter if veggies are raw or cooked? naked or dressed?
• what vegetable can help you feel better when you have a cold?
• can fries and chips are good for you? which ones? why?
• what process maximizes nutrients in the vegetables you eat, and helps you digest your food?

They’ll be eating kale before the week is out!J

Hippies! RWWWWRRRRRRR!

Train Wreck Series Returns!

Hey, kids!

The series that brought you Miss South Carolina’s bumbling attempts to discuss foreign policy and Britney Spears’ drunk performance at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards is back, this time with Sarah Palin, the former Republican vice presidential nominee.

I have tried really, really hard to ignore Sarah Palin since the election ended and the immediate threat of her holding national office subsided, but today I have to make an exception because 1) she resigned from her post as governor of Alaska a full year and a half before the end of her term, and 2) she sounded completely bat shit crazy while she was doing it.

Go ahead. Watch it. You know you want to.

I’m ok, you’re ok, we’re ok

Thanks to all y’all awesome folks who called and messaged and emailed Ty and I yesterday after hearing that the D.C. Metro pretty much exploded within walking distance from our house.

I’m a little freaked out, but we’re both ok, and our downstairs friends are all ok, so I guess we’re just mostly really fucking lucky.

I can feel myself wanting to devolve into hardcore cheesitude, so I’ll stop there. But thanks, thanks, thanks.

Long Island Needs a Flag!

As all you faithful Daily Show watchers are aware, there is a faction of folks on Long Island that thinks it should secede from New York and become its own state.

This means Long Island needs a state flag! And not the crappy one that the “Independent Long Island” movement has designed for itself. No, no. It needs a flag that captures the pure Lawn Guy Land-ness of Long Island, and that will say “Fuck off, New York State” when it flies atop its flag posts.

I invite you all to join me in designing a flag for Long Island.

I’ve even compiled a bunch of pictures to help inspire you!

yes, that is long island ice tea

y'all know what the "with" byline means.

traffic'd

(note reflection of sweet ass rims in minivan door.)

sometimes we all wish we were a viking.