Invented Word of the Day

Email’d (past participle): to have been voluntarily or involuntarily misled as a result of the limitations of email communication, particularly when the subsequent confusion leads to social situations ranging from awkward to disastrous. Often results from failure to use emoticons.

Ex., After weeks of thinking her coworker’s perfunctory email message meant that he hated her, Erica realized she had been email’d.

spamarama

Subject lines appearing in my spam folder today:

1. Protrude deeper and give pleasure to every woman!
2. Become more appetant with females.
3. We offer cheap pills from every problem.
4. Become macho de luxe

I just can’t get over the first one. How does one “protrude deeper”?

(I realize that, by posing that question, I’m practically taunting some of you to answer it.)

grammar police brutality

I got an email yesterday from the girl who runs my school’s grad council. We’ll call her Dotty. Dotty regularly sends mass emails to all the university’s grad students letting us know about speakers, socials, and other such things that 95% of us have no interest in attending.

The title for this particular email read: “Graduate Student Invitation to Conversate w/ Michelle Singletary.”

This use of a non-whimsical imaginary word was disturbing, but it was more disturbing that one Beverly Davis felt the need to hit “reply all” before sending a correction complete with indignant exclamation points–which, I assure you, is the grammar snob’s way of saying “Dottie, you are an illiterate slut.”

It just makes people who care about the English language look like douchebags. Hurting the cause, Bev. Hurting the cause.

Signs of Approaching Apocalypse

On the discussion board for my grad lit seminar, one of my classmates followed a particularly double-(triple?)-entendrified Derrida quote by writing “LOL, Derrida” in parenthesis.

The best part is that I think she was being sarcastic.

spelling is important.

One of many reasons why…